I wanted to see your face
for such a long time.........
In the process I have stopped eating
and feel like the well of my inspiration is drying
It will change into this dessert terrain
That nobody will recognize
That terrain causes a thirst,
A thirst of completion,
of the unknown but of a stable future
that can give me what nobody ever gave me.....
ACCEPTANCE....
This word defines who I am .......
An individual with a broken heart
that gave everything to her mom, her family, and then to you
REJECTED!
I always wonder was I at fault......
Being a woman and emotional creature that I am .......
I always lay the blame......my own two feet.....
I wonder what if ......
You wouldn't understand the turmoil inside.
The raging cyclone that smothers me and makes me explode.
Yet I still yearn for your face and wonder
WHAT IF......
If I changed this would you have accepted me?
or
If I changed that would you have desired me?
These questions are the tools of torture that I have prescribed myself.
I will always remember the way my emotions became the avalanche of rocks......
Who was crushed more?
Was it me? Or was it you?
I always have considered myself the phoenix..
Rising from the ashes no matter how many deaths......
Or a cat with claws, yet nine lives that she uses in order to fulfill her curiosity..
Hope is the only reason that I push myself to raise in the morning ......
To chase the clouds of my happiness and my dreams......
The rain has dampened me
Yet I dance in the rain and embrace the lightening .......
Someday you will understand the turmoil I faced ......
At the edge of a future with no view
But infinite promise.
