Shades

As a child I was pleased,
with everything that I would see.
I easily dismissed things that bothered me.
My mind did not grasp society's ways,
But dealt with it through a child's forget fullness.

When I grew up ,
I realized RACE is a word to be reckoned with.
RELIGION came next,
Beliefs came close,

Children have a view of the world,
that lacks discrimination.
They understand and accept the word different easily.

What happened to be unique?
What happened to the broad minded people that lived in this world?
That taught differences were good and led to innovation.

I tell people my heritage ,
they give me a look,
of horror,
of fear,

Yet I still go on PROUD,
With a smile on my face,
Never lying just being the truth, the truth of who I am.
Fierce,

I have a culture to be proud of.
I can trace my ancestors through the span of time.
Yet the U.S. wants everybody to uniform to society.
To criticize who we are and hide our true selves.
To be ashamed of what our ancestors stand for and their accomplishments.

Lastly,
I want to leave you with food for thought,
Media may show the deviance in race,
Yet don't forget they are still the tiny fish in the sea.
Don't judge them by the criminals protrayed.
Every society has the bad guys,
Just don't disregard the silent voices of the good people in this world.
For they still exist in every society,
No matter the race,
The religion,
The beliefs that they might share.1

TRUTH VS LIE

When I spoke the Truth it was a lie.
When I lied you believed me.

Why is that the case ?
Why cant you see the really me?
Why do I feel like I am in a glass case?
Screaming to be heard.........
When will the glass crack?
When will all of the restraints of life be gone and released?

Why do we love someone who controls every waking moment,
DREAMS?

Being with you, is to lose my dreams.
I fought many battles to be myself,
I cant sacrifice the ultimate prize,
the prize of being FREE

My spirit deserves to be free,
To be accepted for who I am,
For life is to short to settle.
For settling is for those who are afraid to live!

I have fought battles with strangers,
FAMILY AND FRIENDS
To be with you,
The sacrifice though shouldn't include losing myself,
as an entity, as a woman, as a scholar.

Dumb People

People can be so arrogant at times that it is so ridiculous. They hate on you if you have a better life then them. They never consider that it is hard work that has given you these rewards and that they should do the same. My room mate happens to be one of them. She is such an arrogant person that always wants people to revolve around her. Her world consists of her being the nicest person and the rest just being her subordinates. She is always envious of other people and always hordes worldly goods to make herself feel better. Once I asked her to help me out with a question in reference to my school. Her boyfriend went to the same school as me and I asked him to explain something to me. He was like your a freshman and that is why you don't know anything. I was like whatever am not even a freshman am a junior. Its not really any of yr business as far as I am concerned. So just keep your stupid opinions to yourself!

Words

Words are so meaningless and yet they mean so much,
To me and you.
We cherish the word "love" and yet it becomes a burden to me.
I hate you more then I love.
I hate the fact that you took advantage of my innocence,
I look in the mirror and all I see is a gaunt face and the lack of youth,
It should be abundant in this time of my life.

You gave me debt and pain.
I still feel it right now as I write this.
You gave me more burdens financially and emotionally.
You say you want to fix this !
Ha I laugh in your face.
The love has changed into hatred,

All you care is about the way you are perceived by the world.
Do you care about what I see.
No. That's what I feel in this emotionally nightmare created by the word "us".

I feel like laughing hysterically.
I feel like doing something crazy and then claiming insanity as a mode of escape.
You do not have a care for me.

I do not care what the world may think.
I am sick of you and of myself and the stupid dreams you used to ensnare me with.


I will no longer dream of belonging with you anymore.
For in the end it will only destroy me.

Friendship

This poem is for all the people that understand the value of friendship

You've got the gift
to thaw the thinnest ice.

My heart was like this
the day we met,
Somehow you past
all my defense.

In the end
you proved it true,
That friendship can come through.
Can bloom like the prettiest roses
Can make you sigh with bliss.

No one understood,
The way I felt
You were the first to comprehend.

The gift you gave me is most dear,
Then any jewelry
That one can possess.

You gave me kindness
where I felt pain
You gave me hope
When I felt dumped
You gave me wisdom
Where I felt foolish
You GAVE more then anyone!

Unlike the people who'd known me since birth.
Ignored and neglected me like dirt.

You always be
the one to give me hope, joy and encouragement.
Until the end of time
in this world of mine.

I give you the utmost thanks
For accepting my faults and folly's
For being my sturdy rock in times of sorrow.
For being someone special.

For giving a special significance
to the word "friend".

Perception

We have six senses,
That god has given and yet we take for granted.
We hope to find some remarkable event
that would marks us forever.
Yet the little things in life
are highly ignored.


Like the breeze and the beautiful trees
Like running water and the lack of disease.
We thirst for something that hasn't been achieved.
We thirst for distinction and fame.
The little things in life are ignored.
That are ancestors revered and prayed for,
Prayed for the rain, for growth and fertility.

Pursuing materialistic things,
that don't last and begin to wear immediately.

People see us,
random strangers..........
Do they consider the goods that we horde
as an extension of who we are?
Do they ever consider the person within this shell
This outer shell which will one day turn into dust?
Our first perception of this world should include everything.
Not just the goods and the monetary aspirations.
But the smile we bring to someones face
when a memory sparks within their hearts.

Abuse

I've been verbally slaughtered by your tongue.
You have shred me to pieces about my dreams.
You despise me and yet you continue to succeed
in having a place in my dreams.

I should kick you to the curb.
You liar, cheater and flirt.
When you smile my heart still beats,
and I hear the lightest things like birds that make me weep.

I love and hate this disarray.
My heart is rejected by you,
but nevertheless I force myself to proceed.

My daily life pursuits don't mean a thing to you.
You are to busy flirting with others.
Putting me down and making me succumb to self destruction.

Volatility

Your love is so Volatile.......
It has to be a mistake..............
Filled with uncertainty and lots of haste................

You poke fun at my wisdom and laugh at my dreams.............
Yet we are in love so everything is precisely as it should be......
You cut me off when I talk............
Make me want to go mad.........

This love is so unhealthy,
Yet I cling to it like its water
or the rays of the sun that a plant most have.

My eyes are red today and my limbs are tired.
I feel like I ran a mile.
Yet the race is not over...........
Is the price worth the miles?

I am losing who I am,
I am losing my hearts desire,
I am losing my peace of mind because of this great sorrow.

My love is so destructive,
Its not worth the wait
or the race that I have found myself in..........

If you love me make me smile,
with joy and abundance.
We should laugh together..........
Make it feel like its worth the WAIT.............
I want to talk to you ...........
Spend time with you .....
Be the number one in your life......

I want you to fight for me............
Like I fought for you......
I want you to put my fears to rest.............
My fear of good-bye........
My fear of never seeing you again.

Can you do that?
Stop causing me pain !
I choose you for a reason.
Don't make this a mistake.
Don't make me the butt of jokes,
of being a FOOL in love with you.

Please understand my feelings for you
and stop making dumb mistakes!

Library

I went to the library the other day to get some books. I love to read paranormal fiction. I went and I found myself asking a simple question about a late fee charge. I was confused in regards to why the fee was charged since the system of the library was down. I asked the lady if the late fee was taken off of my account. Simple question. Right? The amount was like a dollar seventy five and I know the amount is really small but FAIRNESS should apply for every aspect of our lives!!!! So if I am NOT at fault why should I have to pay for it. Anyways, the woman bought her supervisor over and I tried to explain the situation. I was really calm. The lady took one look at my purse and looked me up and down. She gave me a look "are you kidding me!" Mind you I wasn't wearing a Coach bag but it was a name brand nevertheless. I tried to explain to her that I have no problem paying the money but why should I when I wasn't at fault. She didn't even hear me out she just had an overbearing manner which was by constantly interrupting me and then started verbally attacking me. She told me that I have an attitude problem and that "THE HUMAN MIND IS A FRAGILE THING" and she went on to say that some people may think and event occurred when it didn't. I was horrified and angry. My way of thinking that this is a public library and being a tax paying citizen I should NOT be treated like that. Like what happened to PROFESSIONALISM AND COURTESY. I understand that if you can SURVIVE New York you can deal with anything. The funny thing was that this women was like in her late forties maybe fifties and you would think she would know how how to deal with people. My point being we let little things slide in our lives that we think isn't a big deal. It starts with the little things and then gradually you let things slide of bigger significance. The lady from the library shouldn't have attacked me and in doing so she made it seem like she was doing me a favor. I called her out and told her straight forwardly that she shouldn't have made such remarks that were uncalled for and she just laughed at me. If you are miserable in your job don't take it out on other people just look at yourself first and understand where it is coming from. Lately, I've come across this kind of attitude in the borough libraries. It is very damaging considering they are suppose to encourage reading in the community and in children. People should be careful with the way they are portraying themselves. I really didn't want to go back after that and I have started buying books instead for I don't want ATTITUDES to destroy my zest of reading. Even though she has nothing to do with books the atmosphere itself can oppressive.

Dreams

Dreams are like bubbles,
They can pop any moment
without the least inclination.

Dreams aren't meant to be understood,
They motivate us,
inspire others,
to make an everlasting impression on the world.

Don't be afraid to be who you are,
being unique may be hard,
Trust me I know...........
But if you aren't truthful to yourself
then do not expect others to be truthful to you.

Constantly one complains of being misunderstood....
That may be so ....
but have you really shown your true self
and given yourself a chance?
For you are your biggest critic
and may bring yourself lower then others!

Courage isn't only in dangerous situations,
but rather in everyday pursuits
that we find ourselves in.

So never lose the courage to dream
of a better tomorrow,
of a new world,
of a more accepting society.

No one has the right to judge......
for perfection is unattainable
and being human is giving yourself room to explore,
and make mistakes.