Journal Entry No 8 March 20 2010

 "Lolita in Tehran" is a disturbing book where everything is black and white. The author depicts everything as being bad and a threat to her identity.
    In the book there is a scene where she is having a ham sandwich with the magician. I found that highly disrespectful and a sign of her insecurities. Not all the Muslims rebel by yearning for a ham sandwich. I find friends that wear veils aka Naqab sexy and mysterious. These women feel like they exhibit control and power by wearing veils.
   Considering the times we live in, one Muslims discontent exhibited negatively backlashes against the whole community. Nafisi should have considered the backlash of her words and the power behind them. Before 9/11 I never knew who Osama Bin Laden was. According to the stereotypes that have arisen since then, being Muslim means that I am somehow related to him. I find it highly atrocious and crazy that I am judged by his actions. The consequence of his lunacy- discrimination, governmental spying and invasion of privacy.
   On one point I do agree with Nafisi, she should be allowed to the wear the hijab if she chooses to do so. It is her decision to make. Religion, regardless of the name, should be willingly followed.
    Recently in  the news reported there was an Orthodox Jewish man killing an Orthodox Jewish boy in Boro Park, Brooklyn. The guy chopped the little boy into pieces and shoved him into the refrigerator. There was also speculation of cannibalism. Should I consider all Jewish men from Boro Park cannibals? Should I fear going into that part of the neighborhood?
     With the talk of chickens in the book, I tend to agree with Hamid Dabashi. I also think Nafisi is trying very hard to come across as Western and one of the mold.


   

My piece of paper

Freedom,
              is a huge word to most
              insignificant to others.

Dreamed of that word,
                              when I was running in the playground
                               I knew that I would attain
                               A certain piece of paper.

Then I met you .....................
                 You...................
                  Made me waver with the hidden allure
                  The dreams that I never acknowledged.

You whispered in my ear
The temptation
                       your lies of infinite.

Constantly,
               tossing and turning
                Yes...............
                 Oh Yes, I gambled and risked it all...............

Nothing
           that is what is left..
            Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip.......................
            Shred that piece ................
            Yes that piece of paper.

Why?
        I question myself...............................
        Wavered without a thought
        Or a counter argument.

Illogical,
           my persona
                        Sudoku incomplete on my bookshelf.

Gained,
           Yet hidden
                          In the darkness of my closet.

You
         Caused this
                        question sanity of living within a classroom.

Chained
             Pushed
                         Shoved.



My piece of paper...............
                   My symbol of acceptance
                             My symbol of loneliness
                                                                Just because you passed me
                                                                                       Journeyed by me.

Rite Aid should be called Band Aid

     It’s laughable how easy it is to find a job in the sales industry and yet the lack of actual customer service is so daunting. I don’t know about you guys but I pride true customer service. I was part of that industry and I had always exhibited the best.  To find it and be shocked into speechlessness is how often I come across it. Besides the fact that the title rhymes; the horrific experiences that I’ve had at this Pharmacy chain is beyond belief. Now one “W” is very prominent. “Why do you go there?” I will answer that question in due time. So don’t slip in your puddle with you lack of patience or pee in your pants.
         It all started in the month of April and yet the confrontation is still fresh in my mind. It was unwarranted the harassment I faced just to buy bottles of shampoo and boxes of soda. Instead of being heralded as a great customer, loyal to the extreme that spent over 100 dollars at this store; I was treated worse than a shoplifter.
       The sale was to buy three boxes of soda of 12 oz cans for 11 dollars which was a great deal but the real reason I was there was to buy overpriced shampoo bottles that were on sale. RiteAid was the only pharmacy that I found to have John Frieda on sale for “Buy one and Get one for 50% off” with a 5 dollar cash back option if you bought shampoo for more than fifteen dollars.
            Than the notch count against the common people began.  First the soda cans that were on their shelves were expired. There was only one person on the floor who had a clue about the sale. Their sale stickers were all old and no one had bothered to put the new ones up. Then I went up to the counter and found out that the cashier had no clue which  soda brands were on sale. He was asking me the customer if I knew. Then he went ahead and charged me for the soda that I didn’t want even though I repeated a zillion times that I didn’t want the product.  Annoyed, I was a bit short with the guy and I told him that this is his job to know the current prices in the store not mine.
            After the horrendous trial of just paying, I was catching up with my ex roommate that I had happened to bump into while at Rite-Aid. She had worked on Wall Street and had recently been laid off. We mentioned our various occupations, the economic downturn and lack of jobs. During this time the incompetent staff was privy to our conversation and I didn't know that would escalate into a situation where I would personally be under attack. I was about to leave the store and I mentioned to the security guard that I would need to take the shopping cart to my car since I had so many purchases that would make it hard for me to carry. He grunted and said as long as I bought the cart back to the store it was fine. I said farewell to my roomie and went to the car. When I turned back and wheeled the cart back into the store. I found the guard outside and the first thing he said “You gave the cashier a very rough time.” I frowned in confusion and responded “Well he didn't know what he was doing.” He agreed but then he prolonged the conversation and he tried to turn the tables and said “You should have been nice to him.”  Incredulous I was like “I am just returning the cart, unless you are the manager of this store why are we having this conversation?”  Then the personal attacks began; I was bitter ……. I had problems… Did I even have a man………he was just talking to me. Who cares if I just spent an easy 50 dollars on one transaction?  At this point I had enough. I gave him a really good backlash which included losing my temper and giving him a good dose of the true Brooklyn language. The manager was not there and the guards  name tag was turned around. Very sarcastically I said “So that is why you make sure your name is so inconspicuous.” I laughed in his face and I said; “You are a waste of my time. I will be making a few phone calls and filing an online complaint with Rite-Aid.” During this time a crowd had gathered and one customer actually came and asked me what the whole scene was about. My response I should have called the cops and pressed charges for such harassment of the verbal kind. Plus I should have just left the cart in the parking lot instead of being courteous and returning it to the store.
               I got home and filed an online complaint. The next business day, I called the company using their 1800 number open to the public. That very afternoon I got phone calls from a 718 number. No voice-mail, just hang-ups. This made me raise my eyebrows. Finally, I found that it was the Regional Manager of Rite Aid. Why didn't he leave a voice message which would be the norm? He apologized for my experience. During this time I was not allowed to talk and mention my grievances. He blamed the easy target; the cashier. My complaint was with the security guard. Then he mentioned policies and procedures like I was a two year old. Like come on even if you worked at McDonald’s; they are policies and procedures to follow. There was no talk of reprimanding the security guard.  The apology; a band aid useless when wet and came off easily.
            The next time I went to that Rite Aid………………… the cashier wasn't present but I did see the security guard. Oh and by the way he was telling another female customer ahead of me, quite candidly, how stupid he thought she was. She responded with a smile. Did they know one another? I don’t know. Was it professional? No.  As a customer I believe once you’re on the job your personal life should be out the door. He saw me looking at him and I believe he refrained from using perverse words of another nature.  I was highly irked with these new tidings and the outcome of my complaint which had been so easily disregarded. I sent the Regional Manager an email. It said the following:

Dear Richard:
Not that long ago I went to that location again. I was horrified to see that you still have that atrocious security guard working there. I see that the customers opinions are considered null and insignificant. His inappropriate remarks are generously rewarded. Considering that factor I was not surprised to overhear another inappropriate remark with his then present conversation with another customer. 
I used to work for a Rite Aid as a teenager, but if  he had did what he verbally did with me at my current firm which  I work for, he would have been terminated for his lack of professionalism. I am surprised that you keep on such employees when he is from a third party and probably a dime a dozen. 
I will take my business elsewhere and trust me when I say that word of mouth is very powerful. I was willing to consider the Rite Aid employees being written up or given a verbal warning because I understand that procedures differ at each company. For you to keep on a security guard that intimidates customers is horrible. Your lucky that nobody has called 911 for his harassing behavior. 
Since I am an Accountant and well versed in the business world I will tell you this. I will make sure everybody that I know in the immediate vicinity will not go to that Rite Aid or any other. I will even post my bad customer service experiences on my blog. I hope you will enjoy that since I can see how much you care about customer service. I will take all my prescriptions and my family members to CVS. I will also promote CVS and tell everybody I know or even briefly acquainted with why I dont go to Rite Aid. Competition is lovely thing isn't it? Especially in the private sector. 
I hope this has given you food for thought. I am disgusted that I have to mention my background for you to take me seriously. 

Regards,

Anam Shah ……

The Regional Mangers response to my concerns about a security guard that harassed female customers?  There was none. Great Customer service! My only regret, I should have called the cops and filed a complaint against that bloke of a security guard when I had the chance!

Customer Service

   Considering the horrible customer service experiences I have dealt with in the past couple of months , my next blog entry will explore this topic. I will narrate my experiences and why I take customer service so seriously.  The obvious reason would be the assumption that the customer is a paying customer and hence pays for the privilege. The lack of that therein is very baffling.

Journal Entry No 7: Lolita in Tehran

     The book begins with the author mentioning a picture of her group of students for the secret literature class. She compares two pictures, one with the burkas and the hijabs and the other picture where the girls are not wearing their veils. The splash of color between the two pictures make against the authors subconscious is highly evident with the tone she initiates within the memory.
     I find myself very annoyed with the author. I say this with experience. When I was 10 years old, I went to a summer camp that taught  Islam. I discovered the importance of the word and that I was Muslim. I always knew I was different from the other kids in my elementary school. As infamous as Pakistan is now, in the news, back then it was obscure not even known what part of the globe it was located in. Being bullied for my dark  "looks" had made me a very introverted child. I found my sanctuary from books, a place where I could breathe without the constant harassment about things I couldn't control. Teachers barely acknowledge bullying but from a child's' perspective I knew that my teacher was aware of my bullying as well as other children but it was ignored as children conversing and not a big deal. That summer the book I would be introduced to would be the Holy Quran.. I was fascinated by the stories of the Holy Prophets.
Until that moment my family was cultural which is very different from  being religious. Pakistani Culture does have some influence of Hinduism since it was part of India before the partition. One example is matrimony which can last for a week and is very similar to a traditional Hindu wedding, bridal dresses and traditions, with the only difference which is the Nikkah. I asked my mother to make me scarves. I had that feeling of belonging that was lacking in school. My mom was delighted with my enthusiasm and didn't discourage me from my choice, even though she didn't cover her own hair. I bought books about the life of the Holy prophet. I read books about various Hadiths. I had discovered a world of respect where no one  bullied me or called me names. My friends were from different countries and races, we were joined by the stitches of faith. I was accepted. Those were the happiest days of my life. Nothing could take me out of my dreamlike reverie. Nothing except for the event of 9/11. 9/11 changed my world and impelled me to assimilate.
          The author has no pride for her roots. In her liberation so far I find her narrow. I was also upset with the regime in Iran and how they took things such  as having blush in your bag to the extreme. I acknowledge that there is a problem there. I was also upset with how they jailed Manshid for her beliefs. Ignorance is the word for jailing women (people) for their beliefs yet we even find that in the states. Sadly one case is of Fahad Hashmi, who is Pakistani - American who is in imposed self isolation in the United States without the fairness of a trial which is his constitutional right. This is only because of what he is and for being a Muslim who openly advocated to protect the rights of Muslim Americans after September 11. For his beliefs he is in imposed self isolation for years, pretrial,  with no communication with the outside role, no sunlight or even the freedom to choose his reading materials.
         I do believe that following religion and the act of wearing the hijab should come from within. I am also disgusted with Muslims, that think being westernized will allow them to be accepted into the West with open arms. These individuals ostracize people that are  converse to what they portray and being in the middle of such a spectacle I can see a lot of different ideas. Apparently society, even a democratic one that wants to shine with example, has problems .

Catalysts: Empowered women or Victims?

 Catalysts: Empowered women or Victims?

                  Relationships are important and essential to living a normal life. The genders of the individuals involved play crucial roles within these relationships. In Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury and Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, the female characters Clarisse and Lolita become the catalysts to sequences of events that inadvertently affect the lives of not only the male characters, Guy Montag and Humbert Humbert, but also the sequences of events throughout their books. These events clearly show the power that both Clarisse and Lolita have, despite their lack of experience and age.
           Clarisse is depicted as very ethereal in Montag’s mind. Their first meeting makes a huge dent in Montag’s armor. He finds her questions disgruntling but they force him to think. When he returns home after meeting her for the first time, he sees the stark contrast between Clarisse and his wife. His wife is the total converse of Clarisse; a very shallow woman who just wants to watch T.V.  Montag amplifies Clarisse in his mind.  This is very evident when Montag thinks that she “had a very thin face like the dial of a small clock seen faintly in a dark room in the middle of a night when you waken to see the time and see the clock telling you the hour and the minute and the second with a white silence and a glowing, all certainty and knowing what it had to tell of the night passing swiftly on toward further darkness, but moving also toward a new sun (Bradbury, 10).” He is acutely aware of not just her physical appearance but also the strong emotions that she brings to the forefront. That description is a door into the subconscious mind of Montag. He is well aware, albeit unconsciously, that Clarisse is not meant to be in his life for a long period of time. The large age difference between Clarisse and Montag is a common denominator between both books. In Montag’s case it’s a difference of thirteen years.
                 Lolita is twelve when she and Humbert Humbert first meet. He is a man of great learning yet he is shown to have Lolita on a pedestal from the day that he first meets her. She was considered a grubby child by her own mother, yet Hubert’s’ descriptions of Lolita are of a beauty so undefined that his descriptions can go on for pages. These descriptions are in direct conflict with who Lolita actually is as a person. However, Humbert is well aware of the reality and acknowledges incidents that show her as she truly is. The advertisements that affect Lolita during their travels are examples of this, showing how she would take them at face value. There is a mention of that in the following: “She it was to whom ads were dedicated: the ideal consumer, the subject and object of every foul poster (Nabokov, 148).” His relationship and love is so one - sided that it often leads to ridicule from Lolita. This includes cussing and demeaning him. Humbert Humbert has to cajole her through the use of threats and constant entertainment in order to keep her his complacent Lolita. Humbert is not above using the threat that she will “become the ward of the Department of Public Welfare- which I am afraid sounds a little bleak (Nabokov, 151) ” if she doesn’t comply.   This is done to attain her full cooperation and make sure she doesn’t disclose the full reality of their relationship to anyone.              
            Clarisse’s questions are her weapons of choice. She is fully aware of the fact that she is asking the wrong questions, which would be normal in the real world, and delights in discomforting Montag. The woman in the fire that dies with the books supports those very discomforts that Clarisse’s questions kindle. The fact that a women dies with her books is another show of the gender power which also reinforces Clarisse’s questions about burning the books. That sequence of events coincidentally falls into the same time span as Clarisse’s’ questions. The next day, Montag is so disturbed by the death that he pleads sick from work. Around this time Clarisse disappears and Montag constantly asks about her. Their ghostly conversations repeat themselves in his mind.   This also leads to Montag’s exposure for the book hoarder that he truly is. He confides in his wife about the hidden books, who is greatly horrified. Were it not for the effect of Clarisse he never would have confided in her. This leads to his meeting with Faber, a fellow reader in hiding.  Beatty, the antagonist, dies in the end, which is another common denominator with Lolita because Quilty is killed by Humbert Humbert.  With Beatty’s death comes the realization that “Beatty had wanted to die. He had just stood there, not really trying to save himself (Bradbury, 122).”
           Lolita was a persona in his mind before Humbert Humbert even knew of her existence. This is seen through the mention of Annabel in the beginning of his narration. The power of the unattainable amplifies the lure of Lolita. The fact that Humbert Humbert kills Quilty towards the end, for kidnapping her, is another sign of her power. Even though Lolita is no longer in his life and pregnant with another man’s child, Humbert is still willing to take Lolita with him.   Toward the end of the book all his actions are driven by Lolita, as was Montag’s by Clarisse. Humber Humbert respects Lolita’s privacy, at the end, when he makes the statement “I make all the legal impact and support of a signed testament:  I wish this memoir to be published only when Lolita is no longer alive (Nabokov, 309).”
         The main characters Humbert and Montag are both influenced by women. Guy is troubled by Clarisse’s questions to the point that the hidden layers of his life are out in the open. It moves him to action. The main male characters, in both Lolita and Fahrenheit 451, kill the antagonists with their own hands. They both end up with a legacy: Guy with his entourage of fellow book readers and Humbert with his memoir. Regardless of how it initially began, all the events were kindled and sparked by two inexperienced girls, who swayed the two men with not only their beauty but also with the power of words.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Journal Entry Number 6: Lolita

Lolita is given great power as a nymphet and it just reinforced this article that I came across on Yahoo the other day. It was about young girls and the pressure they face in the technological society, such as Facebook, to look pretty.
The article actually continued to say how it was all about looking sexy and a lot of teens as well as tweens are fully aware of this. Throughout the novel Lolita is fully aware of how she affects Humbert and she tries to utilize that to get what she wants. For her childhood to consist of that is very horrific. Despite the pros and puns, childhood should not be smeared with sexuality.
Going back to the article that I just mentioned looking pretty for these young girls consist of awkward poses and scanty clothy. Young girls that have not fully developed are showing their cleavages and trying to attract any form of attention. Cyber stalkers are having a field day. My question at this point, would Lolita have been more vulnerable in this high geared technological society versus the fifties?
They are many issues that creep into the mind. I am not saying that technology is bad but its not just all flowery either. The fact that young girls cant go through the awkward phases of childhood is horrible and inadvertently a loss to our society.
There is so much eye candy for pedophiles on the internet. It makes the accessibility of vulnerable children quite easy. There are girls, on Facebook, that don't know who half their friends are and just want to add them because they want the attention.
With this article, there were many comments about the responsibility that parents have to protect their children and make sure that they are appropriate. To blame Facebook for the entire issue would be highly unfair.
I knew kids in high school that would actually drink and be encouraged by their parents. There parents didn't care to implement the drinking age and thought it was fully appropriate for the child to drink or get drunk. Some of my fellow classmates were alcholic as teens.
A lot of disturbing questions and yet no real answer.

Journal Entry No 5: "Lolita, My Mother-in-law, the Marquis de Sade, and Larry Flint"

      Thoughts were spiraling in my head . I could  not contain them even if I wanted to. The essay, "Lolita, My Mother-in-law, the Marquis de Sade, and Larry Flint" by Norman Podhoretz,  in itself was really interesting and I say this with the utmost sincerity. The author mentions his mother in law and her denial of the truth. He talks of her like a benign stranger with a distant aloofness. The fact that she denies the sinfulness in the Mid-west annoys the author who is a Native New Yorker. He mentions coming across this article about a pedophile and in the process ends up venting about his mother in law.
    Personally, I feel like denial is the best form of protection from the outside world. I live in Bensonhurst and growing up it was an Italian dominated neighborhood. At this point and time it's predominantly Asian and heavily diversified. Italians still live here and yet they are horrified with the change in the ethnicity in the neighborhood. I was walking on the sidewalk the other day and an Italian individual mumbles "I don't like change"  while looking dead at me. I presume he wanted a confrontation of some sort and I refuse to cave in to such patronizing conversation. My amazement was in the fact that he did not notice that the majority of people around him were not Italian. This kind of behavior, in New York, would be astonishing for some but it still does occur.
     The author mentions a book that was banned called the "Last Exit in Brooklyn" by Selby Jr. The fact that the book was banned made my mind question with all caps "WHY"! I was so curious that I had to stop reading the article and find the book. With the self imposed intermission, I ended up reading the short story "Tralala" that mentioned a gang rape of a prostitute with the frank clarity that was horrific. Yet, I wanted to understand, my questions were stark and demanded an answer. Common questions would be "Where is the mother of this minor?" "How did she come to be in such a predicament?" When Tralala is offered love she does not understand and just trashes the letter like the trashy lifestyle that she embraces.
        This scene was considered pornography and was an issue in a courtroom. There was  much outrage over the graphic undertones of the novel and local shop owners were taken to court for selling them. Today, Lindsay Lohans' mother considers it "classy" if her daughter poses nude for the Playboy magazine. Nude magazines are highly accessible and religions seems to have no influence. The costliness of maintaining censorship overrides the stance that certain local communities would like to take. The stance that needs money to stand on is that really a true outcry of morality? Shouldn't communities consider the protection that they wish to engulf their children in?
          The author is very contrite when he defends pornography with the defense that all books cause emotion and pornography should be considered another extension of that very emotion. He mentions that Nabokovs' wordplay has no regard for the reader which I do agree with. I found while reading "Lolita" the fact that I had to constantly flip pages annoying. The annotation made it seem like I was reading a textbook. I do concede that the prose and puns, once understood, were remarkable in understanding Humbert Humberts' character but the length of time that it took to read and decipher this puzzle of Lolita was quite lengthy and frustrating.
       Regardless, I have waded through the thorns of puns and prose of "Lolita" and  came to appreciate the love of words that Nabokov does convey. This is a book that I truly believe came into existence to quench his love of the interplay of words in a language.

Lolita Continued: Journal Entry No 4

  Lolita s mother dies at the end of Part 1. I found it interesting that  Lolita is not one bit afraid of Humberts Humberts attention. Rather she mentions the word incest and with much relish. She is well aware, even at the tender age of 12, how immoral the relationship is.
   Part two begins with the two of them on a journey across the states. I found it bizarre the merging of paternal love with that of being a nymphet lover. Humberts matter of persuasion can be anything from bribing her, threatening her (with the fearful abode), to even confusing her. Humbert is a character of mass contradictions. He claims that he wants to protect Lolita yet he is the biggest danger to her physical self.
  Even at the end when Lolita is pregnant with another mans child, Humbert desires her. This situation reminded me of a recent recovery of a victim of pedophilia, named Joyce Dugard. She was impelled to have two children with her abuser. Diane Sawyer did a special on her and was horrified when she calmly stated that her abuser was the  father or "Daddy" of her children.
   The lack of horror confounded Diane and I truly believe that is what horrifies society about Nabokov. Nabokov had the audacity to use the pedophiles viewpoint and present it to the public. Expectations from society would have been horror, disgust and indignation. The lack of that response from the author might have baffled certain people. The language, of the book, unique as it is in bringing beauty to the tale of pedophilia also backs the theory that not all pedophiles are victims of child abuse.

Lolita: Journal Entry No 3

     Lolita is a book that I find highly disturbing. I read this book initially in my Freshman year of college. I was horrified by the subject matter, that of pedophile, and lacked the eagerness to understand it.
      The fact that life has impelled Lolita to the forefront at this time in my life is highly symbolic for me. Even as a freshman in college, I could see the beauty of prose that Vladimir used in this book.
      Experiences make up the person and I am no different, yet this book brings up the question of pedophile and how beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty and pedophile in one sentence would horrify many people but isn't that what Vladimir desired?  Normalcy is what we make it? "We" would be society, and Humbert Humbert shatters the box of that very "we". Vladimir would have found that amusing and probably did, the ripples in the pond that his book became.
   Since the mention of the book "Satanic Verses", I have been thinking of that book constantly. I even went so far as to go to the library to grab a copy. It is harder to fight with a quill, as one might know, yet the impact of words is inarguable. Knowledge does come at a price and innocence is never redeemable yet I have already paid that price.
    In my freshman year of college I was exposed to many subjects that to this day are considered taboo. Vladimir does question  how society can consider the vulnerability of young children. Did he have awareness in mind? The awareness of people, like Humbert Humbert, and what steps should be taken to avoid Lolita s' plight?
    I actually did research in reference to the background and found it funny how his wife Vera carried a gun to protect him. Vladimir never learned how to drive; his wife was his driver and bodyguard. The author was a masterpiece of contradictions. The prose and subject matter in the book Lolita is in itself a contradiction.