Journal Entries for German Fairytales Written in 2012

Fairytales:

The show "Once Upon a Time" is a show that I actually make the time for. It is a mixture of all the Fairy tales and authenticity is a question mark that ABC a subsidiary of Disney loves to disregard. There is a episode of  "Hansel and Gretal" that I would like to mention. Unlike the fairy tale there is no happy ending.  The children are sent to seek an apple from the Witch, who owns the sweets house, by another witch. There is no stepmother in the story and the father is a woodsman gathering wood. The evil queen, Snow White's step mother aka the second witch offers the children a home which is declined by the children and sends the witch into a rage. Her reprisal consists of finding the children's  father and cursing the family to search for each other for all eternity.

Hair:

Hair is considered a weapon of seduction and finesse in the fairytales. Rapunzal is seen as using her hair to bring her prince into the tower. In modern day hair is still considered one of the attributes of beauty. Women spend so much money on hair spray, gel, straightening irons and the list can go on and on. Lustrous long hair is considered a sign of great beauty. When I cut my hair a month ago, my grandmother and even some of my coworkers were upset, they were like "Why would you cut your hair?" At the same time people in our society to dye hair into a blonde hue because of the Disney versions of  these very fairytales. Regardless, of whether their skin tone is compatible with their hair color the majority are often seen highlighting that hair color. This proves that the desire to obtain that fairy like beauty is still in our society today.

Shoes:

Last month I went shoe shopping and I noticed right away shoes that look like ballet slippers. They reminded me of Cinderella and even though they were not made of glass, they were very dainty and flimsy looking. When I got the shoes, it just confirmed the obvious. One of the shoes were made all out of fur and cost me more then the other pair which had silver linings and designs on it. The fur apparently is more distinguished looking hence pricier but it reminded me of how it was mentioned n class that in some versions of Cinderella her slippers could have been made out of fur. This also could go back to the original story of "All Fur". The name of these shoes are called "footzey rolls". Cinderella should have gotten her shoes from that company and for sure she would not have lost them.

Urban books and the public library

                  I never thought that I would find antagonistic forces at the Brooklyn Public Library. On this occasion I went to the Highlawn Branch and boy did I come across some great staff that exhibited unprofessional behavior. Libraries aren't what they use to be anymore. In my childhood they were actually a quiet place where you could  hear a pin drop. Nowadays they are staffed with bullies that mock you and mumble underneath their breathes without giving a fig about being professional. Relaxing with a book is so not an option.
                 My tale begins with a protagonist, myself, who battles evil forces just to maintain civility at the library. So I walk in and I was talking on the phone with my boyfriend about a personal matter, I find a table empty of any occupants which is a rarity. I sit down and take out my keys on the table and my notebook. I thought this was a perfect opportunity for some quality time writing. I was still in the midst of the conversation  and one of the female staff members passes by the table looking for keys. She sees my keys on the table which I had just taken out of my bag not more then a minute ago and asked a young man if those were his keys. I looked and scrutinized her. Why would she think I have his keys with a female shoe key chain on it? I suppose one can always consider that the young man had a shoe fetish. I guess my notebook was also his and just happened to be at my house hence inside my bag!! So the woman starts looking for keys at the computer terminals and when she noticed everybody raising their heads and looking at her she said "I am not looking at you but for his keys!"
               My phone conversation was still ongoing at this point and I was having an argument. At this point the a male staff member came with a cart of books and DVDs, banging it right into to my table. For the point of this narrative we'll call him Yuri. Since he was not wearing a name tag and lacked the manners to introduce himself that is what we will go by. So he grabs my attention and then the mumbling began. It was incoherent at best but it was a common incident when I am in the library and this Yuri was working. I was starting to fume, I understood if  this was coincidental once, twice maybe even three times but this happened every time I came here and this Yuri was working. I had enough!!!! So I got up and went to him saying, " Would you stop looking at me and mumbling at the same time!" He didn't respond right away but I walked away to find a supervisor. I found the previous female staff member and I asked her who the supervisor was. I went to the supervisor with that female staff member and found myself being spurned with her saying, "If you need help you can go to that female at that desk." I responded with, "I would like to speak to a supervisor."  During this time while I was waiting for her that individual came back and yelled at me so loudly that the whole library heard. He said, " I would not look at you. I am not interested in looking at you". I turned around and told him, "Well maybe you should be professional then." She came back after the encounter and I  angrily said, "I find being the target of this type of behavior very strange and weird. Whenever I come to the library this guy always bumps into the table I am sitting at and mumbles when he passes me. I really don't understand this behavior". I continued, "Considering this is a public library I don't  understand how he always ends up at my table, mumbling and staring. Should I consider myself in danger? I find it also very unprofessional and makes me uncomfortable. I really don't find this coincidental any longer since it has exceeded more then three encounters." She asked me who he was and walked away without further conversation.
          Albeit I can see that I was coming across as a drama queen with the use of the word "danger" but I was trying to make her understand how acutely uncomfortable I was.
          Wordlessly she took me and Yuri into a room, that was used for tutoring or  homework, where I repeated what I said to her. I also mentioned that I was with a person last time that witnessed that behavior and that this time I was by myself. He shuffled his feet and didn't make any eye contact with me or her. He responded saying that he was just talking to himself so he could figure out his work. He was only there so he can shelve the DVDs and books. His supervisor responded by saying that he should be aware of his environment and if he needed a moment to himself  he should go to a private room. His body language and mumbling might make other people uncomfortable. Then she turned around and apologized to me for the occurrence. I accepted the apology and left. She had further private conversation with Yuri that I wasn't privy to.
          I found myself an isolated corner where he hopefully wouldn't bump into me again. I stayed there for a while reading interchangeably with writing. Nevertheless, I couldn't concentrate and gave up. Heaving a sigh I finally got up because I wanted to print something from the computer terminal. I ended up at the printer and swiped for my printout. The printer wasn't working and just when I was about to scratch my head another female staff member approached with some other person who had a similar problem before. To further understand my narrative I will describe her appearance and give her a name Anne. Anne was a Black woman that use to be very heavy but lost weight dramatically in a short span of time. I had seen her at this library over the course of more then three years and she was a fixture. Anne attitude was very abrupt and annoyed. Whats wrong with the printer?" Thrown off by her sudden appearance at the onset of my new predicament I replied, "Uhhhh................. It doesn't work." Shortly after I realized she was talking  to another person. She pressed a couple of buttons and rushed away bumping into me so hard that my bag almost fell onto the floor. I looked behind me and didn't understand why she brushed by me so closely when there was literally no one  next to me and so much room! She apologized. I got my printout and started looking for books.
          I found a couple of books by authors that I had read before. Then I came across a book which is considered to be from, brace yourself...................... the urban genre. Not one to discriminate and a reader of all types of books, I picked it up. The title read "Hell's Diva" By Anna J. It was a thin book and a fast enough read. I had been introduced to urban books while I was in Junior High School but I never read a book until I worked as a young professional. My fellow co-worker had given me a book with the title of "Bitch" by Deja King which had mesmerized me. That had opened me to Urban Books and a different world.   I went to check out my books and found that I couldn't take the book out. There was some sort of technically difficulty which just added to my eventful library experiences.
         I approached information with the book and no alias a woman by the name of Bridget. She was baffled and didn't know how to fix the problem. There was a volunteer who joined us and was interpreting what I guessed to be Chinese, to an elderly Asian woman. At this point I was just a fly on the wallpaper and utterly ignored without resolution to my problem. I got impatient at one point and mentioned if I could take the book out or not. She whispered she needed my help and raising an eyebrow I tried to help. The only conclusion she could come up with was that it was my card which wasn't really mine that caused the problem. I told her if that was the case  then I shouldn't have been able to take any book out! Relieved she saw Anne come out and told her I needed help.
   A child with his mom rushed by me and tried to resolve their issue first. Bridget tried to intervene and said I was here first. I found that ironic since she ignored me for someone else earlier. Anne just shrugged her shoulders.
          Finally I gave her the book I wanted to borrow. All of a sudden I heard a soft spoken utterance, "You read that kinda urban book?" I turned around and said, "Yeaaaaaa............" It was a woman of small stature, chocolate in complexion and from what I could tell a friend of Anne's. She barked in laughter "Hell's Diva" while Anne laughed alongside with her. Apparently the title was very comical yet I didn't get the jest. Then she turned around and said, "Where did you get the book?" "From the new books section" I replied. At this point  Anne told me she had to the link the book so I could take it out. Her friend asked Anne if it was from the Young adult section at the she time chucking to herself. I took my book receipt and exasperated thanked Anne. I walked away from this horrid experience fully understanding why supposed young adults, such as myself don't  want to read much of anything. With such adults who love to guffaw at young readers preferences, I am not surprised. Suffice it to say I am not a young adult and found it in the Adult section.
          I heard Anne's friend ask her my name and Anne's response " She didn't borrow the books using her library card".  I guess the privacy of the library card holder is irrelevant.

           

Fairy Tales

    Next week I will be writing journal entries about Fairy Tales. Every little girl and yes boy, has heard a fairy tale that they remember from their childhood. I will mention shows, stories and themes which are common in our society which can be originally derived from a Fairy Tale. Considering the holidays I thought the timing was perfect!!!!

Journal Entry No 13: Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress (Written May 12, 2012)

               The point of conception is considered very important in the book. The fact that the Miller is witnessing the moment of conception is very ironic because of his lewd songs. The songs were rowdy in nature and could have gotten him arrested by the current  political regime.
              The Miller actually contemplates the repercussions of their act and is unaware that he is also in the same lot as the couple. Luos' point of view is not as interesting as the Little Seamstress. She is well aware of the fact that people might consider her similar to a "dog". She wants to make Luo "happy" which shows her naivete and does not convey how grave her situation might become. This is all before her transformation to her  city sophistication.
              Her scar is forever and will be the proof of the event being embalmed in her life. She will carry the physical momenta wherever she goes.  In the end she runs away. I wonder if Luo was even aware that she was pregnant and of her abortion. Luo shows no inclination that he was about to be a father. I wonder if he would have exhibited any remorse or sadness for the termination of his child.
              I believe the reason the author mentioned the sex of the fetus was very significant. It shows the vulnerability of the female sex. The child is created because of Balzac. The child would have not existed if it wasn't for Balzacs' stories. The child does have a magical aspect at the moment of her conception.
              I think the ending was proper considering all the implications and ironies in the novel. A lot is left to the readers imagination by the author.

Journal Entry Number 12: Chicken with Plums

   This journal entry deals with the visit on May 3rd 2012 at the MOMO, which I found very delightful. It was to watch a movie called "Chicken with Plums" which was directed by Marjane. The author of Persepolis, was physically present and I was hoping that I would get her autograph. As I walked into the MOMO, I noticed the long line and found out that the technical difficulties was behind the long line. While I was standing in line a guy cleared his throat and excused himself. I turned around and there was Marjane Satrapi. At first I scrutinized her and then recognition filtered my senses. I watched her as if from a distance and didn't even consider vocalizing my request for an autograph.
   When we got to the auditorium Francois, the wife of the author of Mouse, and Marjane had a discussion. She was very lively, with a wicked sense of humor and the easy camaraderie was seen with Francois. The discussion ended and Marjane got off the stage without asking if anyone wanted an autograph. Disappointed, I had hoped that there would be an opportunity to sign books. She only signed one book for an individual in the front row and briskly walked out of the auditorium. I considered her self proclaimed title of being a solitaire and wrote off that as the reason for her quick exit.
      They were many story lines within the movie. It was confusing at first, how to connect all the various dots. Eventually it became apparent what the link was but not until the very end of the movie. I found my attention wandering. It was strange how Marjane knew the story and the various story lines. I guess the medium change was Marjane attempt at trying to evolve as an artist. I couldn't put my finger on it but the movie lacked a certain element. Overall it was a different experience but still disappointing.

Journal Entry 11: Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress

    Balzac and The Little Chinese Seamstress is a book that brings up many riveting issues. I found it interesting how working professionals, such as Doctors and Dentists, were considered  the enemy by the current government in that time period.
     One scene that stood out was where the narrator shed tears over the public humiliation of the doctor and got socked for his sympathy. Why would Lou punch him for that emotion? Is it a sign of weakness or does it just amplify the doctors humiliation, Lou's father?
    The violin is criticized and analyzed by the villagers yet when the narrator starts playing it, it fascinates them and they don't burn the instrument as planned. The idea of burning brings me back to Fahrenheit 451 but with an additional stretch, the burning of anything literary or remotely different.
       The irony is that the head village is delighted by their Western trappings and even send them to the movies to watch the latest shows. Ultimately, the power of narration that Lou uses saves the comrades from their tedious existence and they even get a sense of a weird sense of control in their dire circumstances.
        What really confused me is that the actual facts was that the teenagers never finished Junior High School! This was because of the constant political turmoil.

         The boys are bedded down next to a pigsty. They are also made to carry animal feces on their backs and all of this is to reeducate them. Manual labor is a form of education.
          The sense of time is also very keen and the use of the alarm clock helps to not only seize the imagination of the villagers but also gives the characters another form of control. Time is constantly forwarded or reversed to ease the grueling tasks of reeducation. At one point the realization dawns on the boys that they don't even know what the really time is anymore. Their true sense of time has been forever forsaken.

Dream

I am a dream
    You have obtained
             But never fully hold.

A wraith,
              Desirable
                              Yet inscrutable to your eyes.

Died........
          A thousand deaths
          Bruised
                      Old soul covered by youths countenance

Tears
        Shimmer n my midnight eyes
        heartfelt and still pure.

Dreams of my own, separated motivations
that no longer exists or lingers.

You dream of me
                            I've dreamt ..........
                            The past collide with the present
                             To a future where I am never more.

Persepolis: Journal Entry No 9 04/19/12

   This was the only journal entry that I wrote for this book.

    I really enjoyed the book, Persepolis,  considering that it was the first book that I read with graphic art. I was shocked by the authors thinking. She thinks of herself as a prophet, talks to God, and considers pursuing a career in being divine which is taboo in the religion of Islam. That is because we believe that Prophet Mohammed PBUH is the last Prophet and the seal of all Prophets. We believe that there were Messengers and Prophets before him, including but not limited to Abraham, Moses, and Ismail know to the Christians as Jesus.

     For her  to actually consider being a prophet as a career choice was very astonishing. In the book she is easily led by people when she goes overseas. This is also surprising that despite her families disagreements with the Iranian government, they are very proud Iranians. Regardless, the reality of being Iranian is something that Satrapi will never escape. The indication of this is when she screams her heritage on page 197     at the girls in the cafe which is also her moment of self realization.
   
      The way Satrapi draws herself, during her adolescent years, on page 189, is very amusing. It is a common phase that adolescents go through of being repelled and  fascinated with new prepubescent changes in her body. The fact that Satrapi realizes that she is being used by Markus, her boyfriend, is no surprise to me. Markus never stood up to his mother about her. He even asked her for money many times which is not the most gentlemanly thing to do. I think blaming politics for Satrapis' state of mind is not valid. This is because she spent many years abroad in the influence of western culture. They are many factors behind her way of life. Her family, her identity crisis, and trying to fit in shows her to be very malleable.
     The ending of the book is very abrupt and feels like a door slams in your face. Its like she has opened Pandora's box and is trying to effectively close it. The passage of her life ending in Iran is sealed by her grandmothers' death. She mentions that freedom has a price and I do agree with her. She has lost her family, birth place and relating to any country is hard for her.
     I told my friend that I was a nomad with no country. I am not accepted by Pakistanis because I can't speak or read  the language properly. I am not accepted by people in America because I am not born here. Even though I sound like an American, the minute I tell them I am not born here I have a fictional accent that would become apparent. My sister tells me it doesn't matter if your born here because all people see is your heritage. Of five siblings I am the one that was not born on American soil. Sometimes it feels like the person within you doesn't matter rather the nation you represent. I wonder what nation I represent? I am an observer of two countries yet the feeling of belonging is not felt in either.

Journal Entry No 8 March 20 2010

 "Lolita in Tehran" is a disturbing book where everything is black and white. The author depicts everything as being bad and a threat to her identity.
    In the book there is a scene where she is having a ham sandwich with the magician. I found that highly disrespectful and a sign of her insecurities. Not all the Muslims rebel by yearning for a ham sandwich. I find friends that wear veils aka Naqab sexy and mysterious. These women feel like they exhibit control and power by wearing veils.
   Considering the times we live in, one Muslims discontent exhibited negatively backlashes against the whole community. Nafisi should have considered the backlash of her words and the power behind them. Before 9/11 I never knew who Osama Bin Laden was. According to the stereotypes that have arisen since then, being Muslim means that I am somehow related to him. I find it highly atrocious and crazy that I am judged by his actions. The consequence of his lunacy- discrimination, governmental spying and invasion of privacy.
   On one point I do agree with Nafisi, she should be allowed to the wear the hijab if she chooses to do so. It is her decision to make. Religion, regardless of the name, should be willingly followed.
    Recently in  the news reported there was an Orthodox Jewish man killing an Orthodox Jewish boy in Boro Park, Brooklyn. The guy chopped the little boy into pieces and shoved him into the refrigerator. There was also speculation of cannibalism. Should I consider all Jewish men from Boro Park cannibals? Should I fear going into that part of the neighborhood?
     With the talk of chickens in the book, I tend to agree with Hamid Dabashi. I also think Nafisi is trying very hard to come across as Western and one of the mold.


   

My piece of paper

Freedom,
              is a huge word to most
              insignificant to others.

Dreamed of that word,
                              when I was running in the playground
                               I knew that I would attain
                               A certain piece of paper.

Then I met you .....................
                 You...................
                  Made me waver with the hidden allure
                  The dreams that I never acknowledged.

You whispered in my ear
The temptation
                       your lies of infinite.

Constantly,
               tossing and turning
                Yes...............
                 Oh Yes, I gambled and risked it all...............

Nothing
           that is what is left..
            Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip.......................
            Shred that piece ................
            Yes that piece of paper.

Why?
        I question myself...............................
        Wavered without a thought
        Or a counter argument.

Illogical,
           my persona
                        Sudoku incomplete on my bookshelf.

Gained,
           Yet hidden
                          In the darkness of my closet.

You
         Caused this
                        question sanity of living within a classroom.

Chained
             Pushed
                         Shoved.



My piece of paper...............
                   My symbol of acceptance
                             My symbol of loneliness
                                                                Just because you passed me
                                                                                       Journeyed by me.