Activities

Events that occur on a daily basis. Interactions that would be considered the norm and how they are able to shape our perception of the world and people. People come not only in all shapes and sizes but they are all unique in their own way. The impression we may have of a person also may determines how we may view race, religion and even ourselves. I will talk about something that has effected me and that has left a lasting effect on me.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Recommendation

So, here I am considering Grad school and the next big step in my life. I have decided that I am not going to take the easy way out by sticking to the same institution with faculty who portray education and yet are so close minded. I told my room mate the news and she is happy for me. Her enthusiasm is contagious and made me feel special. I am feeling very confident now that I am focused on what I need and NOT what dreamers may entail that I want.
This came about with my Art Professor, who I went to seek advice from, and told her my situation. She is white, female and a Columbia graduate. I told her how I have many interests and that I am an accounting major. She said she still remembered me from the class. I was pleasantly surprised. I told her how I have been considering my major for Grad school and she was surprised that I wanted to change to Art History. She asked me to expand, and I told her I always considered Art History an interest for writing fiction in the nearby future. She told me that is a big step switching from Accounting to Art History and she wanted to know if I had my degree, what would I do with it???? I told her nothing it was for my sole pleasure. She said how was I going to venture my pleasure? "Good question", I replied.
Then I told her how one of my business professor's has asked me to find myself and that by pursuing this that would be the case. I had initially mentioned my interest to him and that sparked an interest in my personal life as well. I was like to her how I believe that he is a dreamer and he seeks to find himself in other people. She chuckled, "I don't want to discourage you but money is the key factor and unless you minor in art history, I really don't see why you are pursuing this?!!" She told me how Columbia University would finance for the PHD students but if you were a MS student you would have to finance it out of pocket. At the end of the day she told me that even Colleges are out there to make money and long story short she did her PHD. She knew at one point that she would enjoy incorporating her degree into teaching as a professor. I told her I have no patience with teaching and she laughed.
She told me I was really special and the fact that I was able to deal with computation and yet write an essay in Art history was no easy feat. She said one day when I was stable and if I still wanted to pursue this, there is no age limit to knowledge. Her advice was sound and logical. I am logical person by nature and having financial difficulties has been my existence for this past year and many Americans can relate to that. She said that they were always free classes at museums that I wouldn't have to pay for which would help me pursue my passion.
I have found that people that have immigrated to this country have an inferiority complex that they have never dealt with. I believe one of my professor's has that issue. Growing up in America I was taught always to be true to yourself, be independent, and unique. I consider myself first generation and I have never thought that the fact that I came here six months old makes me an immigrant. My other siblings were born in the states and I wasn't so what? I didn't feel inferior to them for this glitch on my parents part rather I have always striven to be the best that I can be.
So this professor has that very issue! I feel like he wants to put me in his shoes and yet doesn't understand that we are totally different. To clarify: I AM NOT AN INTERNATIONAL STUDENT!!!! I AM A US CITIZEN!!!!! I AM PROUD THAT I AM AN AMERICAN!! I was so upset that he tried to make me feel bad about the fact that my parents were originally from Pakistan. My father came here in his teens and my mom her early twenties. They never considered it a big deal if their children were born here or overseas!!!! As they saw it I wasn't born on the planet MARS!!!!
Yet this professor who I had the utmost respect for has lost that in my eyes. I told my shrink (who happens to be white and American) that I don't mind being called international; I always thought it meant that I can assimilate myself globally in any culture. She was like I would consider your sibling's the same even if they are born here. I told her I found it offensive how he thinks that just because I wasn't born here that makes me an International student with no green card or immigration status. I told her I am not sure if I really want somebody who thinks like that to recommend me and I told her I found these vessels of knowledge aka the professor's rude. She said that if I want to complain about this behavior I should and as an individual I have 100% right to do so.
She said the fact that my other professor, who teaches me tax, tried to Americanize my name was just as offensive! I told her how the same professor I spoke to about my recommendation, wrote this off to this being my lot in life and I should just deal with it. She was furious and she was like don't listen to him we all deserve decency , and the professor should at least try to learn your name. "If that is the way your professor chose to deal with people and their mispronunciation of his name, that was his choice. You can respect that but he should respect how you deal with this situation. At the end of the day this is your life and your decision." I chose to being understood, and if you don't like the way I lead my life then that is your problem.
It's funny how these word's of wisdom came from women and white American women! I really appreciate them for making me feel like an individual. They understand the value of culture's and the individual that comes with it. I really appreciate my room mate who is Chinese and relates to a being a women and the struggle to work in male dominated society despite the woman's movement. She was like to me maybe your professor isn't well known in the academic world and that is why he hesitates to write a letter of recommendation. She is like the other roommate before you, was recommended by his Boss, at NYU where he conducted his research for his thesis, who was well known for his research in his industry.
So, I tested the professor who said I should assimilate in society and asked him for a recommendation today. I knew what his reaction would be and he didn't disappoint me. He said if I applied to NYU or Columbia for GRAD school it would be hard. He said it wasn't a big deal that I had a high GPA and that I wasn't an outstanding student. I need to distinguish myself. Well,that was great ! No pressure right?!!! I was highly amused by this and irked by his ENCOURAGING words. I was thinking, he thinks that his classes were the only classes that I got A's in????? I explained to him, since I had three classes with him that is why I thought he was the logical choice. Since, he was rejected by IVY league 36 times that automatically means that I am going to be rejected as well. I wonder what he would think if he knew my uncle went to Poly tech NYU and he wasn't born here!!! He would probably have a heart attack. Over all I am considering asking my other professor's who wouldn't offend me by saying these patronizing remarks while dissecting me like a frog in a laboratory!!!
So, its funny how the immigrants in this country happen to discriminate the most and yet they point their fingers at the whites'. They always come back to race and how unfair life is. Once, I didn't tell a professor how to pronounce my name in College and he got upset. He was like the whole semester I mispronounced your name and you didn't tell me!!!! He pronounced my name fifty times as a joke to make up for the mistake. The only way he found out was because my black friend pointed this out to him and he felt embarrassed. This was at the community college I went to and the professor was a white lawyer who worked as a part time professor. I worked for a bank and once they found out how to pronounce my name they made sure they pronounced it right!! It took them ten times to say it right but they did it because they expected me to give them the same decent courtesy.
I've had good people in my life that have taught me the value of being different and myself. I never let it bring me down that I am female, a minority, and a Muslim!!!!
The professor who believes that everybody is the same is wrong and needs to look into himself to figure out why that is the case. I have learned to respect myself and by doing so I can gain other people's respect if they don't like it you know where the door is. I have many Chinese friend's and I pronounce their Chinese names. I insisted I was like I want to understand and learn your names. They were surprised that I refused to say their American names. It took me maybe twenty times but I pronounce it correctly. When I meet other Chinese they are surprise that I am familiar with their customs and they make sure that they don't offend mine. This is what I call mutual respect!!!
I don't care if I work for the Big Four or the midsized firm if they don't respect me then I won't even consider them as a future prospect. I have standards just like they do and its important that the shoe fits both ways!!! It surprises people that I would actually say no to the Big Four but so what ?????!!!!! I worked for one of the top banks in the US and they asked me to return and I said "NO!!!" . WHY?????? I wasn't happy there!!!!!